inkisrunning

Title: If I Ever Lost My Hand...
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jon/Ryan
Summary: Panic are on a roadtrip. And Jon and Ryan have a secret--they're boyfriends! Can they keep their secret from their closest friends, especially when EVERYTHING is being filmed?
Author's note: I'm going to be going on a roadtrip with my friends to Vegas... and the American Valley video popped in my head.. And well, the title/lyrics to Jon and Ryan's improv song inspired this fic.
Unrelated notes: Am I the only one who caught all the sexy moments between the two? Also, why is that song not on their album??

Part 1

The day was like any other day. Hot.

Ryan was familiar with this kind of weather having grown up in Las Vegas. What he wasn't familiar with was Jon and his flirting. Ryan watched him, peripherally.

Jon was leaning forward, causally, with his hands clasped over his lap. A grin tugged at the corner of his lip. His gaze didn't linger on anything for more than a second or two and that's what put Ryan on edge. He didn't know when their gazes would meet. And when they did, Jon's eyes would bore into him like he was some kind of prey about to get caught. Ryan would flush and turn away. And Jon would say something about a car they passed or point out another blown tire at the side of the road.

Ryan wondered whether Jon knew what he was doing to him. He bit his lip as he turned to glance at Jon again, hoping that he would be staring out the window or something other than him. But, of course, the world didn't work on his hopes.

Jon was looking at him with his lopsided grin and eyes that wouldn't stop twinkling. Jon knew exactly what he was doing to him.

Ryan realized that the space between them had disappeared. He cleared his throat and chanced a look at Brendon and Spencer. Brendon's eyes were on the road, as they should be since he was driving. Spencer was looking out the window. Ryan let out a a breath, relieved. He looked at Jon.

Jon's smile grew. He nodded towards the camera. "Shit." Ryan muttered under his breath. He almost forgot about the camera. Thankfully, right then, it was focused on the scenery of dirt and rocks they were passing at 85 miles per hour.

Ryan told himself that there was nothing to worry about. Nothing was going on. Spencer didn't know. And Brendon didn't have a clue. He laughed at his own paranoia. He was about to sit back into his seat when he felt Jon's hand brush his thigh. "Fuck, you're gonna get us caught," Ryan said, under his breath.

Jon leaned in closer. "Grab your guitar."

It took a second for Ryan to comprehend but once he did, he grabbed his guitar quickly. Too quickly. Spencer had stirred and turned to look at them and only turned back to continue his daydreaming after Ryan met his eyes and nodded at him.

"Here, I'll play the chords and you play there," Jon announced.

Ryan strummed, while racking his non-functioning mind for words to a song that didn't exist yet. He looked at Jon, who was changing chords and had an easy smile playing at his lips. How could he be so casual about everything? Ryan wondered. Another strum of his guitar and words finally made it through his lips. "If I ever lost my hand, we could still write songs this way..."

Yeah, Ryan thought, he could do this. They finished their song and the camera went on to focus on a game of thumb-war between Brendon and Spencer. He glanced back at Jon, who was watching him intently. He felt Jon's hand move again onto his thigh. Ryan didn't dare move or say anything. His eyes locked onto the cameraman, hoping he wouldn't catch onto what Jon was doing behind the guitar propped on his lap.

Jon's hand made slow, maddening circles across his leg.

Ryan gasped as it made its way to the inside of his thigh.

He wanted to slap Jon's hand away, but instead, he opened his legs wider. He thought that Jon wouldn't do anything more than this anyway. Jon wasn't evil. He wouldn't do anything to out them while Brendon and Spencer were seated just a few feet away, and a fucking video camera was filming their every move. But Ryan was wrong again.

Jon was just that kind of evil. His hand traveled to his crotch.

Ryan wanted to put what was about to happen to an end but his body betrayed him. He moved against the hand, to feel more of the delicious pressure, more friction, more anything.

He glanced at Jon, who was still staring at him. The touch deepened. His hand no longer just touching, but rubbing, groping and pressing into his now evident arousal. Ryan wanted to scream but only gripped his guitar and closed his eyes. It felt so good and so hot and so wrong and so right as Jon's hand moved expertly, knowingly and possessively over the length of him through his pants.

"You're so sexy right now," Jon muttered into his ear.

Ryan's eyes widened in fear that they would get noticed. But Brendon and Spencer were still talking about something--a dead animal they passed? A rest stop? And the cameraman was still focusing on the two in front.

"You're gonna get us caught," Ryan repeated.

Jon shrugged. "You want me to stop?" he asked, while simultaneously applying more pressure to Ryan's groin.

Ryan closed his eyes and opened them to see Jon staring intently at him. Ryan shook his head. And Jon grinned. Fucker, Ryan thought.

Jon glanced down to Ryan's crotch. "Good, because you're close."

Ryan was about to ask how he knew but that was a moot point. Ryan hated to admit that someone other than Spencer, the man he had grown up with, had him figured out in just a few short years.

In any case, Jon was looking at him from beneath his lashes with a knowing smile. "Fuck, look, you're wet," he said heavily.

Ryan didn't dare look, he didn't need to see. He could feel that his cock was trapped against his thigh and could feel the inseam of his pants slide wetly against him as Jon squeezed and rubbed him through the thin fabric. "Fuck," was Ryan's last thought before he came. And as soon as he came down from it all, his eyes opened widely, worried if anyone caught on.

"Rest stop in less than a mile," Spencer announced.

"Good thing, we were on empty five minutes ago," Brendon added.

The cameraman was busy focusing on the signs coming into view.

Nobody noticed.

And Ryan, with his mind still hazy after just coming, would have forgotten what had just happened moments ago if he didn't feel Jon still pressed against him. He looked down for the first time and watched in fascination as Jon's hand still worked his softening cock. His mind whirled with jumbled thoughts of what was happening, but his body was the one screaming. Ryan felt the tightness of over-stimulation. And wanted more.

"Meet me in the bathroom," Jon whispered.

He nodded just as Brendon exclaimed. "Thank fuck, we made it!"

Just as soon as the vehicle came to a stop, Jon was out of the van.

TBC